I went to visit my brothers grave up in ‘The Midlands’ before I flew back to the US.
In the graveyard I made this picture of a rook or maybe its a crow. These guys make a very distinctive sound in the otherwise silent graveyard. The collective noun for a group of crows is : ‘ a murder of crows ‘ its a bit of a judgmental noun, and yet their cries and their association with death, for these jet black birds on that day , the group noun seemed kind of right.
I don’t visit my brothers grave in the way you think I might. I guess I am only just now almost ready to generate the relationship you are supposed to have with a dead family member. A relationship where you have properly accepted that they have really gone. I guess I am almost there, well kind of almost there, its only taken me 20 years so far.
Cheers Jez XXX
[ 10 ] comments
- Nice one Jez. RIP Mick.
SP @ May 22, 2015, 10:15 am
- Cheers :-////// :-)))) Jez XXXXX
jezblog NYC :-)) XXX @ May 22, 2015, 12:07 pm
- Guess your heading in the right direction Bro… Wish I could help out… Stay Strong.. xx
PaulS @ May 22, 2015, 12:02 pm
- Ah I’m doin OK bro …….. after all they do say time is a healer …… Cheers bro thanks so much for being there :-)))
jezblog NYC :-)) XXX @ May 22, 2015, 12:10 pm
- There’s no right way or wrong way to deal with a death. 20 years or 60 years…there’s only your way, and that way is the right way for you.
A few weeks ago in India, my friend’s dad died. The whole thing took on a surreal atmosphere, I was standing outside her house in East Delhi, holding her in my arms consoling her, meanwhile there was a band playing, with fireworks exploding next to us…her neighbours were celebrating a wedding. It was completely bizzare, how she coped with it is beyond me, one strong woman.You take care,
Harv.! @ May 22, 2015, 4:42 pm
- So sad for her loss ….. thats a serious dichotomy…. so sad and difficult for her…. to lose her father …… so terrible to be the one in grief while all around are celebrating and happy….. so very difficult and sad …… As a photojournalist you think u know loss …… think you know grief and suffering …… think you know death …… But of course you know nothing till it strikes close to you …… to your family to your loved ones ……. the whole thing with the suicide of my brother continues to do my head in …. sometimes I am perfectly accepting other times not …. and I think because of all the other stuff I have done I’m probably more nutty than most …. I heard the other day kids are getting PTSD symptoms from playing computer games …. I have prob those same kinda symptoms from probably slightly more intense experiences …….. the dreams of Rwanda and what have you quite often involve my brother …. lets face it I was on the nutty side from the start …. so I have never felt ready for the straight forward go to the grave yard pay your respects in the conventional way ……. I just did not want to go……. I have found it easier to go now …… but still not easy ……. I guess its just like you say we all process this stuff in our own way at own speed there is no right and wrong ……Take it easy out there :-)) XXXXXX
Cheers bro Jez XXXXXXXXXXX
jezblog NYC :-)) XXX @ May 23, 2015, 12:30 pm
- Must make things real difficult for you…Like you say you learn to `accept`, detach yourself from the scenes of death/horror that have surrounded you in your career, but like you say when its connected to you,it all changes… Stay Safe Bro xx
PaulS @ May 24, 2015, 2:15 pm
- As u know bro …. I was always on the nutty side …. I’ve probably stepped it up a gear …. but nothing too drastic …. in the end everybody faces their own demons with the apparatus they have and their own strategies and damage …. i think some of the fear and horror of war zones never quite leaves …. you end up with slightly raised threat level perception that can make you behave a little odd by most peoples standards ….. but hey you know me I’m muddling through ……. like the executioners in Monty Python I’m just a little mmmmmm mmm mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm maaaaaaaaaaaaad …….. but where was I ? Oh yeah …. So I said to Brian……..hehehehehehe…….
Cheers bro Jez XXXXXXXXXXXX
jezblog NYC :-)) XXX @ May 24, 2015, 8:03 pm
- …aaaaand…(don’t forget to…) Always look on the bright side of life… We have what we have and we’ve lost what we’ve lost, and sadly not much you can do will ever change that. But we have the joy of photography, which records all those memories of things lost – so we don’t get to forget those who passed before us…. Hope you are good my ‘old’ Mate?
Paul Close @ May 26, 2015, 12:43 pm
- Its the super power of photographers to catch a fragment of time and keep it forever….. :-)))))) XXXX Cheers bro Jez XXXX
Jezblog NYC :-))) @ January 17, 2016, 8:37 pm